Airline has told me I can't fly on my own and need somebody with me, are they actually allowed to decide that?

I am cross, and I might be cross about the wrong thing, so tell me honestly.

Rang to book assistance for a short flight in September, went through what help I need, and the woman on the phone said that as I can't get myself out in an emergency I would have to travel with someone. Just like that. I have flown before, on my own, and nobody has ever said this to me.

My daughter says they can't refuse to carry me because that's discrimination. But the airline person was perfectly pleasant about it and clearly thought she was quoting a rule at me rather than making it up. So which is it? And if I do have to take someone, does the airline pay for their seat, because I certainly can't stretch to two fares.

Not a lawyer but I've heard of this and it is a real rule, not her being difficult. It's about evacuating the aircraft, not about you being capable in general, which is a distinction that comes out sounding a lot ruder than it's meant to.

The seat cost bit I'm afraid I already know the answer to and you won't like it. I've never heard of an airline paying for the second seat. Some do a discount, most don't.

Brenda, worth separating two jobs that get lumped together, because it changed how we book.

The person the airline insists on is only responsible for you in an evacuation. They are not there to help you in the loo, or lift you, or sort your bag. That's a carer's job and it's a different thing. When my wife flies with me I'm doing both, so it looks like one role, but the airline is only asking about the emergency one.

Ask the airline what their actual criteria are in writing. We found ours had it published and it was much narrower than the phone call suggested.

Brenda, the direct answer first: yes, an airline can require this, and no, it is not the same as refusing to carry you. Carriers are permitted to require a passenger to travel with a safety assistant where that passenger would not be able to evacuate the aircraft unaided or meet their own basic needs in flight. It is a safety rule written around the aircraft and the evacuation, and it is genuinely not a judgement about how you manage your life on the ground, although I completely understand why it lands that way when it arrives down a phone line.

What it depends on is worth naming precisely, because the criteria are not identical between carriers and that surprises people. Some airlines assess it around whether you can move to an exit unaided, some around whether you can understand and act on crew instructions, some around personal needs during the flight such as eating or medication. Two airlines can reach different answers on the same passenger, which is why the useful next step is to ask your specific carrier for their published policy in writing rather than relying on what one member of staff said. If you have flown alone with the same airline before, say so, and ask what has changed.

On the money, Neil and Derek are right and I will not pretend otherwise. A companion or carer fare is an airline policy rather than a passenger right, so it varies from a free seat, to a discount, to nothing at all. Ask three things when you enquire: whether a concession exists, whether seat selection is waived so the person is seated next to you, and whether the baggage allowance is separate. The seating one matters more than people expect, because a safety assistant seated rows away is not much use for the purpose the airline has just insisted on. All of that, including the difference between the safety assistant role and a carer's, is set out in travelling with a carer or personal assistant, and what the free airport help does and does not include is in airport special assistance.

Where I stop, and I want to be clear about it: whether you could evacuate an aircraft unaided is not something I can decide from a forum post, and it is not something the woman on the phone can properly decide either. If you want that assessed rather than assumed, your own OT or clinician can talk through what you can do in that specific situation, and a letter from them describing what you can manage is often what turns a blanket refusal into a sensible conversation with the airline.

Just to say I had almost this exact call two years ago and it ended fine, so don't book two fares out of panic yet.

Mine turned out to be a script the call centre used whenever certain equipment got mentioned, and when I emailed and asked for the policy the answer that came back was much narrower and I did not need anyone. The phone and the policy said different things. Get it in writing before you spend money.

Thank you all, this has taken the sting out of it a bit.

I've emailed and asked for the policy in writing as suggested, no answer yet after ten days, which is its own kind of answer. Also seen my OT who has written a short letter saying what I can and can't do in an emergency, and honestly reading it was a strange experience, but it's factual and it's better than a stranger guessing.

If they hold firm I think my sister will come, which would be lovely but doubles the cost of a trip I'd budgeted carefully. Not resolved, but at least I know what I'm arguing about now.